Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Letter Part 2

It was not so much a letter as a fancy envelope with calligraphy on
the front. Nothing good can ever come from calligraphy on the front.
(At least, not when your unemployed. Calligraphy equals someone
wanting expensive gifts from Crate & Barrel.)

I opened it.

It was a wedding invitation. My heart started racing as I scanned it... I didn't even have to see all the names and places and wheres and whens - I JUST KNEW. Old Boyfriend would be there. If you continue to read here, you will learn there is Good Old Boyfriend and Bad Old Boyfriend. With Bad Old Boyfriend things ended badly, but with no one else juicy-delicious to think about, I can't stop thinking
that now that I AM OVER Bad Old Boyfriend (I swear) why can't I toy with the possibility with meet-up-at-the-wedding MAKE-OUT (or more) in four months? How else can I CRUSH HIM WITH REGRET?

Good Old Boyfriend is another story for another time. (Why are WE ONLY TEMPTED BY THE BAD ONES?)

Of course my mind immediately races to the important things: HOW MUCH WEIGHT CAN I LOOSE IN FOUR MONTHS and WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? But the second thing doesn't matter as much as the first thing because without the accomplishment of the first thing, there can be no second thing. A SEQUINED MUMU FROM LANE BRYANT does not say let's grab that half bottle of champagne and meet in the bushes. Well... not the
bushes... not if I'm thin and wearing something expensive from Bloomingdale's WITH THE TAGS TUCKED IN THE BACK so I can return it the following day.

So much to think about. With so much to think about, I don't even have time to think about, how do I really feel? Which is good. I don't really want to think about that right now.

All I want to think about is... Is forty pounds even in the REALM of possibilty of losing if I only eat hard boiled eggs and carrots for four months?