Thursday, June 12, 2008

Adventure Bowl
I'm Famous Here & At Taco Bell

I've always wanted an 8x10 glossy photo, like the kind famous people have, but of me, hanging in a restaurant. It doesn't even have to be a fancy restaurant. I could actually get quite excited to see myself featured at the Taco Bell right by Warner Bros.

There's only one problem: They hang their pictures quite high and while I'm not opposed to standing on a table top ("Excuse me, yeah, could you move your Chicken Gordita over just a smidge so I can crawl on top of your table and drill my photo up here?... No! Well, then I can't be responsible for falling ceiling."

This week, I saw my dream coming true when I picked out of the Adventure Bowl: "Hang Your Pic Up at a Restaurant." Now the hard thing is, I don't exactly have an 8x10 of me. Then I realized, that's what Kinko's is for! One hour later and about twenty bucks in printing fees (I got kind of picky, afterall, this picture of me is going to be immortalized FOREVER), I was off to this cool Mexican place in Hollywood.

I got to the restaurant and sat down in a booth. First problem - why are there so many damn people in a darken restaurant on a Sunday? Don't you people have anything better to do?!?! Second problem - a lot of the photos up there are nailed in. That doesn't make my job impossible, I'm strong and I come with tools. But I need less people here and someone to shield me.

I'm surprised I had that good of sense to know when an Adventure should be put on hold because by now I had two margaritas and after two margaritas, I start to think that I am invisible. I really don't want to be in the crime blotter because I was seen yanking down a picture of Burt Renolyds and replacing it with mine.

Now, even, though this Adventure has to be postponed until I can bring a few friends with me, it's not a total loss. I did some recon work that told me not to come on the weekend and help me scout the best booth to sit in that will get me the most optimal placement of my photo.

Now the big question is - do I want to be by Jake Gyllenhal or Farrah Fawcett???

This blog is dedciated to patience.