Thursday, July 31, 2008

Adventure Bowl
Holy S*%t! Roller Coasters!

So you've thrown out all your copies of useless self-help books and committed to the Adventure Bowl way of life to squash the blues and reinvigorate your life.

Now whaddaya do?

OMG, go ride a roller coaster!

That's what I did as this week's Adventure Bowl and it was a blast. You know me, a little rigid, a splash Type A, an obsessive compulsive planner. I know I'm not living my "best life" (as my girl Oprah would say) that I can and that's why I need to jump out of air planes and ride roller coasters.

Because when control freaks like me let go - we have a ridiculously fun time and then we learn to let go some more.

So, for this assignment, I made my sister go with me because riding roller coasters by yourself makes you look like a lunatic. Besides, she's a teacher so she knows all about stress and having absolutely no free time. "I have no free time," she said. I thought, "How sad! Let's ride roller coasters."

I'm sure she would have rather gone to a spa but the point was to have REAL fun. Massages are a necessity. Laughing, screaming and hurtling into the air is real fun... and come to think of it a necessity, too.

Because she needed more than a little convincing and cajoling, I offered to pay. What does a theme park cost anyway, like $25 -$30 bucks?

Yeah, in 1985.

It was $65 bucks to get in Universal Studios. Holy crap. But I didn't care.

INSERT RANT: Dear Universal Studios, After you financially rape people to get in your theme park - do you really have to have every ride literally end IN A GIFT SHOP???? Haven't we spent enough money? And why is it that their are more places to spend money than there are rides??? For every one ride there must be ten shops, kiosks, lame games and places to buy food. Though the beer carts were a nice touch. So thanks for those.

Anyway, I'll quit my bitchin' to get to the ooey gooey good stuff. First stop, Jurassic Park ride. I deemed this a "baby ride" until the end where we the roller coaster unexpectedly took an AWESOME drop and then we were doused with water.

I literally, could feel myself "let go" after that. i had to. I was literally soaking wet in my clothes and laughing my ass off.

Of course, we rode it again. Mostly, so I could make fun of people that bought rain ponchos so they wouldn't get wet.

Next up, the Mummy Ride. The Mummy Roller coaster was fantastic but incredibly short. But I love a ride that warns you not to ride it if you have 1 of the 75 conditions they had posted. That just leads to the build-up of how scary it must be if you can't ride it if you have, you know a case of... "excessive sneezing" or something.

The Mummy Ride also has a weight limit, which I made the cut. Side note: If you want to feel thin, walk around Universal Studios. I was feeling like a frickin' model there. My sister kept telling me to stop sticking my boobs out but even soaking wet from the Jurassic Park ride, I had not felt this thin and attractive forever in forever!

Saving the best for last, we then went on The Simpsons Roller Coaster. All I can say about that is - IT'S UN-FRICKIN' BELIEVABLE. It's the future! Like nothing I have been on before. Which is why I had to ride it three times.

The day was incredible and amazing. It reminded me why I do this Adventure Bowl even though it's challenging, time consuming and expensive. I do it 'cause I need to, because I have to - because I saved a lot of money laying in bed.

Because sometimes we need to schedule time for big belly laughs, do things that are crazy and make us scared and then thrill us.

I think it would be really hard for me to get depressed again, because I'll be carrying the memory of this day with me and know, all I need to do to get out of it is a big upside down ride and a splash of water in the face.

This blog is dedicated to snow cones with four flavors.